i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
