As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
