Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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