how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize