Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
