Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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