Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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