I just threw up on my dentist
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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