what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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