**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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