I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
