why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
