I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
