Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests đ
Liz Cheney wasnât exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying âYAS QUEENâ for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
