9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
