i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
is it fun? or sober?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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