Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
