half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
