then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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