He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
