I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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