its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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