so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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