I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
