...so i touched it.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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