I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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