so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
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no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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