The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
