after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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