I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
