dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
