my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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