sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
