Kiss
Puke
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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