Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
