READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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