rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
