So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
