No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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