her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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