Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Even my vagina gasped.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
