The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
