ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
