hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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