You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
