Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
