I'm going to rape someone's good day.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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