Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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