i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Boobs are out for the taking
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
