I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
