apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
