I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
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