ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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