Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
