I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
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