I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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