Plan B is the new Plan A
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
They took my balls.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
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