i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
