I think I won the penis lottery.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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