Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
There's always time for handjobs
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
