Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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