Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
