officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize