Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
